Hey dear Lionsgate people, it’s me, FyreSparks! Since the Hunger Games is now out on imdbPro (which means it slowly gets real) and there are some difficult decisions coming up for you guys, I decided to give you a few tips. You know, cause I’m such a pro when it comes to books and movies and books turned into movies. Alright, here we go!
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The Lionsgate list to ultimate fan-happiness
Get this man! Now!
1. Do not hire Cathy Hardwicke as director. Maybe ask Peter Jackson instead cause he totally knows how to pull of stuff like that. Hello? 11 Oscars for Lord of the Rings – Return of the King alone. Do I have to say anything else?
2. Do not hire the New Moon wig department. Honestly, have you seen what they did to Jackson Rathbone aka Jasper?
3. Do hire Howard Shore or Hans Zimmer to compose the score. Cause they rule! Plus they are my all time favorites when it comes to composers for movie scores. So just call them. Please.
Do NOT get this guy though!
4. Do not hire anyone of the Twilight cast just to profit from their popularity. Cause that’s just not right. Bella can’t be Katniss and Jacob can’t be Gale and most of all, Mike Newton CANNOT be Peeta. Ever. Just saying.
5. Do not split the last book into two movies, however long it might be. I hate when there are breaks in the movies. Cause it ruins the mood. Splitting a book in two is like a 6 months long break. Not cool. I never understood why someone would do this except to gain more money in the box office. There’s a reason why Casablanca is considered a classic and cinema heirloom even though it’s like 5 hours long. Consider that!
Do NOT get this woman either! Her face is FROZEN...
6. Do not hire someone whose face is so damaged by botox that she can no longer act properly. Have you seen Nicole Kidman in The Golden Compass? I still think it’s partly her fault I didn’t like the movie even though I loved the book… Oh woman, what have you done to your once pretty face?
7. Do hire someone who is super hot aka sexiest man alive 2015 and 2016 for the roles of Peeta and Gale. Cause hot actors are bound to lure girls and women into the theaters. Plus if there are always two Bond Girls I feel like we deserve two sexy guys to look at as well!
8. Don’t forget to release an absolutely awesome first trailer at least six months before the movie premieres.
9. Don’t forget to hold back some of the best, most anticipated scenes to surprise us on the day when we will actually sit in the movie theaters to watch “The Hunger Games” for the first time.
(Concerning numbers 8 and 9 you could just say don’t do it like Summit! First they throw out like every important scene New Moon has to offer and then they don’t give us the slightest glimpse of Eclipse. Big fail!)
10. Make this movie epic and awesome and not one of that fits into the “good books – bad movies” category. Cause we need it to be good and to not suck! Kthxbye.
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Any other tips I should have given Lionsgate? Do you love Howard Shore and Hans Zimmer as much as I do? Leave a comment or send me an e-mail!
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If you need more tips dear Lionsgate, just give me a call!
FyreSparks
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– pictures: Google –
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